Until
by Miss Mila
Summary: A Post Purgatory B/A fic. Purgatory repeat came on, and it inspired this fic. Deakins comes back and gives Eames advice on the situation with Goren. Please read and review!


**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Law and Order: Criminal Intent characters, places, themes, etc. No copyright infringement intended. **

**A/N: I know it's been a while since I posted on this fandom, but I haven't really had an opportunity to. Stupid delays. Anyway, it being Presidents Day (Happy late Presidents Day everyone!), Bryn and I were able to watch the LO: CI that comes on at one. And it just **_**happened **_**to be one of my favorite episodes, "Purgatory". Hope you like this!**

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Her voice was breaking as she shouted at him about not talking to her, and not telling her about the undercover assignment. She was shaking with anger and dejection. And he just _stood _there!

"I hope it was worth it…Detective." She spat out before running out of the interrogation-witnessing room.

Her unshed tears finally spilled over and she ran outside the Police Plaza.

How could he be so infuriating! She was worried about him, scared to death that he was dead or tat he finally snapped. And _he _was working undercover trying to get his badge back without telling her.

"Hey Alex." A familiar, calm voice said as footsteps appeared by the bench on which she was sitting, head in her hands.

Eames looked up when the man approached her. She hurriedly wiped the tears away with the back of her hand and stood up, wiping her hands on her jeans.

"Captain."

Deakins chuckled. "I'm not your captain anymore, Eames." He said, hugging his detective.

"You'll always be Captain to me."

Deakins gestured to the bench and sat Eames. "What's wrong, Eames? I've never seen a case shake you this."

Another tear. "Not a case. Not really."

"Then what is it?"

"Not a what." Eames said, squinting at the sunlight.

"A who."

A nod.

"Robert Goren." Deakins said knowingly.

Eames sniffed. "Yeah."

"What did he do?"

"It's what he didn't do."

"Am I gonna have to force the story out of you, Alexandra?"

"A while back he went undercover at Tates. Didn't tell the PD. Got suspended. And now he apparently went undercover to stop some big drug dealer without telling me. To get his _badge _back. He had his reasons. For everything, I guess. But he didn't call or tell me…and I was worried…and scared." She finished dully.

Deakins frowned. "He didn't want you to get involved."

"Right. Like _I _can't take care of myself."

"He was worried about you."

"No reason _to be _worried."

"Love doesn't follow the rules. Doesn't make sense. Even though he knows you're capable of taking care of yourself…he worries."

"Wait, love?"

"Yes."

"We don't-"

"Detective," Deakins said using his no-nonsense voice, "How long have I been on the force?"

"A long time."

"I know things. And I _know _when two people are in love, Alex. Why do you think you're this worked up about this?"

"Because I got lied to."

"Because the man you _love _lied to you. He lied _because _he loves you. To protect you."

"You men are screwed up." Eames said frowning. "But you may be right. If he does love me…why isn't he coming out here?" She asked, voice breaking.

Deakins chuckled softly. "Because you are a very intimidating you woman, Alexandra Eames. He's giving you time to…cool down."

Eames hugged Deakins. "Thanks, Captain."

"Anytime, Eames."

"Captain?" Eames said as she stood up with Deakins and wiped her eyes again. "How did you…why are you here?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"You think I believe that?"

"No. That's why you're a good detective."

"You knew?" She asked, hurt evident in her voice.

"No."

"Of course you knew. That's why you're a good Captain." She said bitterly, continuing as if he hadn't said anything.

"Good, Detective. I didn't know much. And certainly not as much as you told me. But I pulled a few strings and I knew Goren was bound to screw up sometime."

Eames was silent for a long while, studying the Captain's face. "Thanks again, Captain."

"You call me if you need anything, Eames. Or if Goren does something stupid again."

"And you drop by anytime."

Deakins left without saying another word.

Eames walked back to the squad room as if nothing had happened.

She saw Ross give her a look, and she narrowed her eyes at him. She really wished Deakins were here. As Captain.

She walked around the PD, not having any intention on actually getting back to work. She found Goren sitting outside a conference room.

He looked horrible. Depressed and sad and just…hopeless. She hated seeing him like that. But she was still mad at him. Though that anger was ebbing away slowly. She sat on the bench next to him. The two of them just sat there, staring at the wall in front of them.

"I saw Deakins."

"Yeah?"

"He uh-he made me see where you were coming from." "Eames. You know that I would never hurt you on purpose, right?"

"I guess I do."

"What, uh, what else did Captain say?"

"Said that you were trying to protect me and things like that."

"Smart man, Captain."

"Yeah."

Goren sighed and turned to look at her. "Eames…Alex…I know that 'sorry' doesn't begin to cover for all the crap I've done. But I really am sorry. I didn't want you to get dragged into everything. I hoped that at least one of us could stay out of this-"

"Look, Bobby, I _can't _stay out of things. Once I do, I start to…worry. And I don't like worrying. If we have to go through anything, I'd rather we went through it together."

"So do you…forgive me?"

Eames stood up and laughed dryly. "Oh no. Not by a long shot. But you're getting there."

"Can I take you out for drinks?"

Eames frowned. "Okay. Drinks is okay." It was…middle territory. Which was safe for them now. Until things got better. Which they would.

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**A/N: So, how did you like that? I love Deakins, and miss him, and thought that he'd have some advice to offer for the situation. I liked the beginning and middle better than the end, but all in all, I like this fic. Later!**


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